Without You

Im wondering why badluck always strucks me. Is this due to the fact I did messed up with girls before?Yes I honestly admit. I was wrong. But loving seriously wasnt the answer I guess, I think it was just a test to prove how strong I can be. The judgement I had before and the one who's making me go on each and everyday has abandoned me. Why?was I to strict?to tight?or am I not enough for her?. I've given my life my all to this wonderful thing named love but what do I get in return? heartache and pain. Sometimes I come to think why love is unfair, why it is imbalanced and why everytime I try to learn it I fail. Maybe its just not for me or maybe the one im trying to love isnt satisfied. Haiz. I was just asking for something in return, loving me and forgeting all about the past and focus on us. It didnt worked out after all. It was to hard for her to forget and love me the way she loved before. Everytime I think about the things she did to the relationships she had. I just wish I knew her first so all the love she invested didnt come to waste. She was so hurt and disgusted of what happened that it even affected her daily Online activities such as YM's status message. Compared to me, she didnt even mentioned me on those times where having conflicts. What did I get? curses, harsh words and uncivilized quotes which was directed to me. What can I do? nothing, I just put myself to sleep at least for a bit I can forget all about it. Love can be cruel and unfair for me, but one things for sure I didnt regret meeting someone as beautiful and wonderful as my "Angel". I didnt expect that it will end up like this. Depression and pain is overuling me right now. This incident is a great inspiration in writing and updating my blog. I just wish and pray for your happiness and I hope you may find the one your looking for. Much better than me for sure. I know your happy and I know you've been wanting to be free. For the last time I Love You So Much. "Mami" :(